My Typical Classroom Discussions

My school schedule is divided into 5 classes: Qingli, Qingdu, Yuedu, Xiezuo and Kouyu. (trust me, its all the same) Diverse classrooms are filled with foreigners from all walks of life.

In class, we'd use our newfound vocabulary and incorporate it into our everyday lives. Today's topic was Tu Tan, AKA hocking a big fat one. A lovely post-lunch discussion, the Chinese population has long since forgotten its dark SARS past that haunts them. Spitting has once again taken to the streets and have been terrorizing the likes of us newly transplanted foreigners. Sudden episodes can occur anywhere, anytime- on the streets, in narrow staircases, and, on the rare occassion, in restaurants, so beware! (Gross, but yours truly witnessed it herself.) Oh, and keep an eye out for those snot rockets too.

That's So China

I find myself increasingly familiar with the phrase "That's so China." Here are some examples of this phenomenon:

Opening a hole in wall shop which dedicates itself solely to selling pre-owned remote controls: "That's so China."

Learning that the meaning of "motor powered" signifies someone on a scooter with one foot kicked up on the bicycle in front to enhance velocity and control of said bike. "That's so China."

Getting a penis transplant only to have it removed two weeks later. "That's so China."

The Chinese Renminbi: A New Kind of Gambling

As U.S. Treasury Secretary Paulson continues to pressure China to raise the value of the Renminbi, it might not be such a bad idea to open an account or two here and watch the money grow. After all, it only costs 5 kwai and a picture ID, no minimum balance required.

Not so fast though, some may say, as China's bad loans amounted to an estmated 500-650 billion dollars last year. That could spell a bad investment, considering the RMB is estimated to appreciate by a mere 3-5 percent in the next year. You're probably better off with a CD account, or, better yet, bring it to Macau. [*Useless fact #1: "The typical Chinese gambler bets $85 a hand, compared with $25 for a gambler in Las Vegas, even though per capita income in America is 34 times as high..."] Scratch everything I said above. Invest in Macau.

Risk Sexual Assualt, or... Go to Jail?!

There are moments when news from home makes me want to regurgitate last week's dinner and send it back to the U.S. judiciary system in a pretty pink package, with a big F U across it. Here's one of those moments.

Mesquito Masquerade

Alien mesquitos prowl amongst the unsuspecting folk out here in Shanghai. Closing in on the third week here and I've had about two dozen attacks. My bites look like someone hit me with a baseball bat. Really hard.

On the brighter side, the California West Nile website has issued warnings about infected mesquitos travelling up and down various populated areas. Prevention includes draining excess water, applying DEET, and covering yourself with clothing. Lavender oil, tee tree oil, and eucalyptus oil are amongst some natural repellents for the blood suckers. Go California, get them happy blood suckers!