Chinglish

Vivian spotted this sign somewhere. High-larious.



Says she:
"Besides being hilarious, this is a good example to me of how the process of learning Chinese loves to smack you around. These are five very simple characters that even a beginning student knows, but how does one translate them into "When you are getting off with your lover"? Fortunately my trusty Pleco dictionary comes to the rescue and explains that "花前月下" is a 4-character phrase (I would say 成语 but not sure if it is one) meaning "an ideal setting for amorous dalliance". Ahhh. Actually now it makes perfect sense."

Suzhou River Song

:: N Y E:: oh seven

:: N Y E:: oh seven
Originally uploaded by sherryworld.

It's been over three weeks since the Taiwanese earthquake and my life support system (aka internet connection) is (still!) excruciatingly slow.
It's putting a real dent in my ability to multitask. (ADD, full speed ahead!) I've spent the last few weeks checking the speed of my connection like a crackhead checks his pipe. Hence the unavailability of new flickr photos. Grind to a halt my life has. But Happy Belated New Years anyways!

China Update #1

How is my mandarin coming along? I can now argue with a taxi driver if he's taking me for a spin, tell the lady at the local market that she's got to be kidding for trying to rip me off, order food at a decent pace, and, most importantly, people on the phone no longer hang up on me after 10 seconds. Can you say that I've assimilated with Shanghainese culture? Hell no. Have I made a difference in the environment? Not really. Every morning I say hello to a couple that collects recyclable materials from the six buildings in my apartment complex. Out of habit, I still separate my recyclables from my trash and set it aside for them. My impact on Chinese social progress? Perhaps 0.00000000000000000000000001% change.

Sometimes when I'm spacing out in my taxi ride I wonder what would happen if I launched a campaign to end child begging. Hell, I wonder what would happen if I threw a really insane sex party. I'd probably get a call from the Chinese government for doing either.

It's a doggy dog world out here. 4 am and people are still trying to sell flowers in the cold, cold weather to four very lonely, very straight men on the bund. Child-beggars and their supposed mothers greet you the minute you step outside your taxi, pushing, begging and sometimes stealing. There are four sex parlors (oops, I meant "hair salons"- they aren't just massage parlors, they're also "hair salons") within a 5 minute walk from my apartment. And somehow, this all has become very "normal" in just four months of living in China. What drives you? What make you passionate? What brings tears to your eyes? I guess these are question that are hard to answer when all these people around us are just trying to make it to see another day. I live in a place where the meaning of "social justice" is allowing the pedestrian in front of your car to pass first. I recently solicited some strange looks by mentioning the word "non-profit." What the hell is that? Did you just say corporate awareness? Social enterprise? Strategic corporate responsibility? Recycling??

A recent search on Google for NGO's in China yielded this article about philanthropic organizations in China. Although all organizations need to be registered with the Ministry of Civil Affairs of China, China has still come a really long way since its cultural revolution days. From a time when the handicapped were disregarded and deemed useless, China will soon host the next Special Olympics World Game in 2007. Non-profit corporate relationship? Not anytime soon, but it is a start for the country that will soon become the most influential power that will shape the future of this earth I call home. But until then, I'll continue working on the Mandarin.

Shanghai Biennial

How did I miss this? I have a few more weeks to check it out as the show ends November 5. Biennials have disappointed me greatly in recent years, showcasing trendy art rather than breakthrough art. Then again, that will bring us back to the never ending question that's racked so much neural space of recent art historians: What is Art? Update to follow.

My Typical Classroom Discussions

My school schedule is divided into 5 classes: Qingli, Qingdu, Yuedu, Xiezuo and Kouyu. (trust me, its all the same) Diverse classrooms are filled with foreigners from all walks of life.

In class, we'd use our newfound vocabulary and incorporate it into our everyday lives. Today's topic was Tu Tan, AKA hocking a big fat one. A lovely post-lunch discussion, the Chinese population has long since forgotten its dark SARS past that haunts them. Spitting has once again taken to the streets and have been terrorizing the likes of us newly transplanted foreigners. Sudden episodes can occur anywhere, anytime- on the streets, in narrow staircases, and, on the rare occassion, in restaurants, so beware! (Gross, but yours truly witnessed it herself.) Oh, and keep an eye out for those snot rockets too.

That's So China

I find myself increasingly familiar with the phrase "That's so China." Here are some examples of this phenomenon:

Opening a hole in wall shop which dedicates itself solely to selling pre-owned remote controls: "That's so China."

Learning that the meaning of "motor powered" signifies someone on a scooter with one foot kicked up on the bicycle in front to enhance velocity and control of said bike. "That's so China."

Getting a penis transplant only to have it removed two weeks later. "That's so China."

The Chinese Renminbi: A New Kind of Gambling

As U.S. Treasury Secretary Paulson continues to pressure China to raise the value of the Renminbi, it might not be such a bad idea to open an account or two here and watch the money grow. After all, it only costs 5 kwai and a picture ID, no minimum balance required.

Not so fast though, some may say, as China's bad loans amounted to an estmated 500-650 billion dollars last year. That could spell a bad investment, considering the RMB is estimated to appreciate by a mere 3-5 percent in the next year. You're probably better off with a CD account, or, better yet, bring it to Macau. [*Useless fact #1: "The typical Chinese gambler bets $85 a hand, compared with $25 for a gambler in Las Vegas, even though per capita income in America is 34 times as high..."] Scratch everything I said above. Invest in Macau.