Chinglish

Vivian spotted this sign somewhere. High-larious.



Says she:
"Besides being hilarious, this is a good example to me of how the process of learning Chinese loves to smack you around. These are five very simple characters that even a beginning student knows, but how does one translate them into "When you are getting off with your lover"? Fortunately my trusty Pleco dictionary comes to the rescue and explains that "花前月下" is a 4-character phrase (I would say 成语 but not sure if it is one) meaning "an ideal setting for amorous dalliance". Ahhh. Actually now it makes perfect sense."

Suzhou River Song

Chinese RMB sends Global Markets Crashing

It doesn't take a finance guru to tell me about the volatility of the Chinese RMB and its possible affect on the global economy. In a previous post last September, I mentioned that the bad loans in China are estimated to be between 500-650 billion dollars. That's over half a trillion dollar. That's a huge chunk a' change we're talkin' hea'.

Let's pretend for a sec. Say you came to me asking for advice about investing. I told you to invest in the stocks of a certain bank. However, you already know that over 7.5% of this bank's loans are bad- bad meaning they are in default and probably won't be repaid. Would you still listen to me? So why are people still knocking down doors in China?

From experience, every emerging market needs to crash and burn a bit before it prospers into its Golden Age. 1987 US Crash, 1989 Asian Crisis, the Dotcom Bust. They all resulted from some fat elephant in the corner, who probably sold bad loans to fellow fat elephant friends. Today, we experienced a taste of what it would be like if the Chinese market really decides to take a dump. Is China on an inevitable path towards mayhem? Was today's financial tremor enough to shock people back to their senses? Should we all start running to our mattresses, with the anticipation of a nauseating global crash? Perhaps. As the world stage gets smaller and smaller, our interconnectivity renders us more and more dependent on the others' well-being. Look what happened when a tiny earthquake hit Taiwan last December. But so far investors have been optimistically undeterred. JVs and foreign entities are setting up shop faster than you and I can say "ni hao." In cities such as Shanghai, the expatriate community has more than doubled since 2003. China's GDP went up 10.7% in 2006 to 20.7 trillion dollars, and with the prospect of the 2008 Olympics in Beijing along with a strengthening position in global politics, potential capitalists have been flocking to China's door. But is all this a surefire formula for success? Will China be able to smooth out this bubble with the grace and ease that will affirm its role as an emerging world power? Maybe. Then again, the positive economic drive China has had such good luck with so far could just be the inauspicious calm before the storm.

:: N Y E:: oh seven

:: N Y E:: oh seven
Originally uploaded by sherryworld.

It's been over three weeks since the Taiwanese earthquake and my life support system (aka internet connection) is (still!) excruciatingly slow.
It's putting a real dent in my ability to multitask. (ADD, full speed ahead!) I've spent the last few weeks checking the speed of my connection like a crackhead checks his pipe. Hence the unavailability of new flickr photos. Grind to a halt my life has. But Happy Belated New Years anyways!

China Update #1

How is my mandarin coming along? I can now argue with a taxi driver if he's taking me for a spin, tell the lady at the local market that she's got to be kidding for trying to rip me off, order food at a decent pace, and, most importantly, people on the phone no longer hang up on me after 10 seconds. Can you say that I've assimilated with Shanghainese culture? Hell no. Have I made a difference in the environment? Not really. Every morning I say hello to a couple that collects recyclable materials from the six buildings in my apartment complex. Out of habit, I still separate my recyclables from my trash and set it aside for them. My impact on Chinese social progress? Perhaps 0.00000000000000000000000001% change.

Sometimes when I'm spacing out in my taxi ride I wonder what would happen if I launched a campaign to end child begging. Hell, I wonder what would happen if I threw a really insane sex party. I'd probably get a call from the Chinese government for doing either.

It's a doggy dog world out here. 4 am and people are still trying to sell flowers in the cold, cold weather to four very lonely, very straight men on the bund. Child-beggars and their supposed mothers greet you the minute you step outside your taxi, pushing, begging and sometimes stealing. There are four sex parlors (oops, I meant "hair salons"- they aren't just massage parlors, they're also "hair salons") within a 5 minute walk from my apartment. And somehow, this all has become very "normal" in just four months of living in China. What drives you? What make you passionate? What brings tears to your eyes? I guess these are question that are hard to answer when all these people around us are just trying to make it to see another day. I live in a place where the meaning of "social justice" is allowing the pedestrian in front of your car to pass first. I recently solicited some strange looks by mentioning the word "non-profit." What the hell is that? Did you just say corporate awareness? Social enterprise? Strategic corporate responsibility? Recycling??

A recent search on Google for NGO's in China yielded this article about philanthropic organizations in China. Although all organizations need to be registered with the Ministry of Civil Affairs of China, China has still come a really long way since its cultural revolution days. From a time when the handicapped were disregarded and deemed useless, China will soon host the next Special Olympics World Game in 2007. Non-profit corporate relationship? Not anytime soon, but it is a start for the country that will soon become the most influential power that will shape the future of this earth I call home. But until then, I'll continue working on the Mandarin.

Shanghai Biennial

How did I miss this? I have a few more weeks to check it out as the show ends November 5. Biennials have disappointed me greatly in recent years, showcasing trendy art rather than breakthrough art. Then again, that will bring us back to the never ending question that's racked so much neural space of recent art historians: What is Art? Update to follow.

$1 Make-Up

Can't beat that, even here in China. (Unless you want a lipstick that makes your lips fall off) Eyes Lips Face, the self proclaimed "value priced cosmetic," is making a claim to their stake in the American market, and to promote their products they're selling everything for a buck, with shipping at $5 no matter how you buy. I sent an email to see if they'll ship to Shanghai, but so far no reply. With the airline industry's new rules regarding carry on liquids (side note: On my flight here, I had to send my lip gloss collection from SFO) $1 make-up isn't so bad, especially if it ends up getting confiscated at security check points around the globe. Special bonus points for carrying a plumping lip glaze in 8 different colors.

My Typical Classroom Discussions

My school schedule is divided into 5 classes: Qingli, Qingdu, Yuedu, Xiezuo and Kouyu. (trust me, its all the same) Diverse classrooms are filled with foreigners from all walks of life.

In class, we'd use our newfound vocabulary and incorporate it into our everyday lives. Today's topic was Tu Tan, AKA hocking a big fat one. A lovely post-lunch discussion, the Chinese population has long since forgotten its dark SARS past that haunts them. Spitting has once again taken to the streets and have been terrorizing the likes of us newly transplanted foreigners. Sudden episodes can occur anywhere, anytime- on the streets, in narrow staircases, and, on the rare occassion, in restaurants, so beware! (Gross, but yours truly witnessed it herself.) Oh, and keep an eye out for those snot rockets too.

That's So China

I find myself increasingly familiar with the phrase "That's so China." Here are some examples of this phenomenon:

Opening a hole in wall shop which dedicates itself solely to selling pre-owned remote controls: "That's so China."

Learning that the meaning of "motor powered" signifies someone on a scooter with one foot kicked up on the bicycle in front to enhance velocity and control of said bike. "That's so China."

Getting a penis transplant only to have it removed two weeks later. "That's so China."

The Chinese Renminbi: A New Kind of Gambling

As U.S. Treasury Secretary Paulson continues to pressure China to raise the value of the Renminbi, it might not be such a bad idea to open an account or two here and watch the money grow. After all, it only costs 5 kwai and a picture ID, no minimum balance required.

Not so fast though, some may say, as China's bad loans amounted to an estmated 500-650 billion dollars last year. That could spell a bad investment, considering the RMB is estimated to appreciate by a mere 3-5 percent in the next year. You're probably better off with a CD account, or, better yet, bring it to Macau. [*Useless fact #1: "The typical Chinese gambler bets $85 a hand, compared with $25 for a gambler in Las Vegas, even though per capita income in America is 34 times as high..."] Scratch everything I said above. Invest in Macau.

Living in China: A What-If Scenario

There are many aspects of Chinese living that one may, in the beginning, find strange, abnormal, and even bizarre. However, with time, these same oddities eventually become first accepted, then normalized. I often wonder, walking around Xujiahui, what would happen if OSHA had a say in all this?

Let's see... women will no longer be allowed to ride on mopeds with their six year child in lap. Unregulated RAID bug spray, the kind that makes the right side of your brain twitch, will be pulled off shelves. Traffic violation revenues would sky rocket.

And, what if the Motion Picture Association of America had their two cents? Why, they'd no longer allow me to buy pirated DVDs.

In fact, that may not be so far from the truth. The Chinese government has recently launched an anti-pirating campaign, seizing business licenses and, since July, destroying over 13 million pirated CDs and DVDs. Not too surprising, especially with the budding symbiosis between Chinese and American relations. Chinese piracy cost the MPAA a pretty $240M last year and they're not happy. What is the Chinese populace to do when all is said and done? Subscribe to Netflix, of course.

Middle Class in China?

Social commentary of the day: Went to IKEA (yes, we have IKEA in Shanghai) today to buy mesquito net and was astounded by the amount of locals shopping there. Expensive by local standards, I was profoundly intrigued by the emerging middle class here and their growing spending power. Imagine, for the first time in its history, China is experiencing its first middle class. It will be so interesting to watch this child grow in the next few years.

"...Although China boasts the world's fastest-growing economy as millions join the ranks of the middle class, the Chinese are famous for their reluctance to spend their money, saving on average 30% of their income, one of the highest savings rates in the world," says Mei Fong the of WSJ. "By increasingly stocking Ikea's Chinese shops with China-made products, Mr. Duffy pushed prices on some items as low as 70% below prices in Ikea outlets outside China. For example, an Ikea's single-seat Ektorp armchair retails for $112 in China, 67% cheaper than one sold in the U.S." Article continued...